Apologizing for all the wrong reasons

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry for being in your way.

I’m sorry for needing that resource.

I’m sorry for asking for more money.

I’m sorry for asking for time off.

I’m sorry I distracted you.

I’m not one to apologize. It hurts my bones to apologize (Did I tell yall I’m an 8? If you know, you know). I hate apologizing so much that its a motivator to consistently do what I believe to be the right thing, but for some reason I will apologize for the dumbest things. I’ll say “oh I’m sorry,” just for taking up space. I’ll apologize for not doing someone else’s work to the quality that they may have expected (notice I’m saying someone else’s work, as in work on top of my work). I’ll apologize for needing the copier when someone else needs it. Who am I?

What I do know is that as I repeat these useless apologies, I’m giving other people the opportunity to discredit me. I’m no psychologist, but what I mean is if I keep apologizing for insignificant things on a regular basis will I become the “I’m sorry girl.” Why is Kristina always apologizing? Why is Kristina always in the way? Why is Kristina not doing a good enough job?

suck-im-sorry-meme

Listen, you should apologize for being a jerk, you should not apologize for taking up a space that is yours. When you go to work, own it don’t apologize for it.

While we are at it, let’s talk about some other things to say/not say at work:

No.

You interrupted me. (I’m not done talking).

That’s not funny. If something isn’t funny and/or its out of line, say so.

That’s not appropriate. See above.

I already know that. (take that mansplainers).

Because I said mansplainers I’ll inevitably have to say this: This isn’t a post about men, this is a post about your presence at work. This is a post about interacting with all co-workers and some slight changes we can make in 2019 to make our presence be just that, more of a presence. In 2019 claim your space boldly.

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Yelling gets you nowhere

I am such a fan of conflict at work! I think conflict is healthy, it can facilitate great ideas, it can spark meaningful debate, it can help a team move forward-I’m all about it!! We all know that conflict at work has to be navigated carefully though.

I’m the kind of person that’s always ready to hash out ideas and refocus the group on the big picture goals when we are trying to determine the best way to do something (even if it means the team is going to exchange some words).

The problem with conflict at work is when it goes wrong. The worst thing I think you can do when having some healthy conflict at work is to yell.

imnotyelling

Maybe that’s your style at home. Maybe you are a loud person like myself. Maybe you just like to yell. Yelling at work in the middle of some healthy conflict is bad.

Not only is it bad for solving the immediate problem, its bad for your reputation. Once you’ve been “the yeller” no one talks about how the conflict was resolved or what the rest of the group agreed. Now the focus on the story is “Gertrude YELLED about Shelley not cleaning the toilet properly and then it all went down hill from there.”

Now, you are the yeller.

Think about every conflict at work story you have experience with. When someone yelled that overshadowed the whole situation didn’t it? Maybe the conflict was resolved, maybe the team eventually moved forward, but NO ONE forgets that you yelled.

Don’t be the yeller.

 

Do you get a Turkey?

turkeysirI don’t work for a company that gives everyone a turkey for Thanksgiving. In fact, I never have. My MIL, FIL and BIL all do so they end up with 3 turkeys for Thanksgiving. While this is a nice gesture from the boss man am I the only one that thinks it’s a little dated? I can just see the scene here: Husband brings home turkey from boss. Now wife has to cook “gift”. Wasn’t it sort of a gesture to the ladies “sorry I keep your husband at work more than I let him go home… have this turkey?” Maybe I’m making this up, but I’ve always felt its very “Mad Men-like” to give a turkey to your employees. I’m sure most employees appreciate it, this is just my outside looking in opinion. I will say this though, my homie Michelle works for a company that is not only giving them a turkey today-they are going to fry it for their employees today! I can dig that, a gift that I don’t have to make when I get home.

Keep in mind, I don’t cook a Thanksgiving meal either (we like to hit up Cracker Barrel and a hockey game for our TDay festivities) so my opinion maybe somewhat tainted. If I were going to cook one, I would acquire my turkey well in advance though. Either way- you all have a great Thanksgiving! Google, Google, Google