Two things happened this week that reassured me I am on the right path. Over a year ago I welcomed an identity crisis that was a harder fight than I thought it would be. I had become so engrained in my job that innocent bystanders couldn’t tell where I ended and the job began and vice versa. I was oblivious to this for a long time, but all last year it became more and more apparent to me that it was, no matter how hard I denied it, my life. I wasn’t sure if it was a bad thing or not because I thought it meant I had a good work ethic and that as long as I was providing my family should just deal with it. So I had a long journey (maybe I’m still on it) to find myself again since I let my work become my identity. Anyway long story short I like my job now, I’m working on loving it, but let’s just say I’m dipping my toe in the water before I jump in.
So what are the two things that happened? Earlier this week my husband and I were spending time together and he made the unprompted comment to me that he could tell a difference in my patience from this time last year. I was so happy to hear someone say that, especially my husband, that I wasn’t really sure what to say. I’m pretty sure my eyes lit up and then I just made noises as I tried to form a sentence. I was seriously happy that someone noticed, because I was started to doubt that I had made any progress at all. The second thing happened tonight. Two different neighbors sought me out for conversation tonight. Let me just say-that never happens. I’ve always been the neighbor that glares at the kids leaving their bicycles in my driveway or the dogs getting off the leash. I do not make eye contact with neighbors when I pull up at my home from a long day of work. I do not want to be bothered with meaningless conversation, I just want to take my high heels off and go to bed. Not anymore! After the conversation with the first neighbor I thought to myself “Aw, what a sweet old man”. After the second neighbor came by I thought to myself “Am I dying? Does my husband know I’m dying and he’s told the neighborhood? What is going on here?”. I’m pretty sure I can chalk these chatty neighbors up to the fact that I am looking less and less stressed. I mean I look friendly again. Crazy right?
This attitude adjustment cannot be 100% attributed to my job change, but it had a huge impact . I loved what I did so I couldn’t accept that it was making me miserable, but almost a year out I can see where I was wrong! It was making me miserable and that didn’t mean I should love what I did any less, it just meant I wasn’t supposed to keep doing what I loved where I was. I share this with you for the one struggling soul somewhere out there that is torn in a similar situation. There is light at the end of the tunnel. It’s okay to leave a company after 7 years. No job should affect you to the point that people think you’re a young Miranda Priestly. It is possible to do what you love in a peaceful workplace. I promise. You don’t have to have constant chaos to be successful.
[…] Kristina Minyard knows how hard change can be. Stuck in the midst of a job she loved but a life that was lacking she made the tough choice to change her outlook and behavior. That is hard. That takes time. And the rewards can be hard to discern. At first. Feeling a little blue? Uncertain anyone notices your efforts? Read Kristina's remarkable self-portrait for comfort – and energy! See additional thoughts @HRecruit […]